There are bad days…
And then there are the days where your brain wakes up, cracks its knuckles, and says,
“Alright… today we spiral.”
You know the ones.
You spill your coffee, your hair won’t cooperate, and suddenly your mind goes,
“Hey… remember… your name makes someone out there absolutely lose their shit.”
And instead of feeling powerful, you just sit there like…
“Well damn… that escalated quickly.”
Because now you’re not just having a bad day.
Now you’re thinking about existence.
And that’s where it gets dangerous.
Because your brain doesn’t stop there.
Oh no. It keeps going.
It goes:
“You know the last person who remembers you will die one day… and then it’ll be like you never existed.”
And you’re just standing in your kitchen like…
“I was literally just trying to make toast.”
But here we are.
Then it hits you again—
You are the only person who has experienced your entire life.
No one has seen every version of you.
Not the quiet one.
Not the angry one.
Not the one that cried in the shower for absolutely no reason.
Not the one that gave a speech in your head that deserved a standing ovation.
No one will ever fully know you.
Ever.
And somehow your brain goes,
“Cool cool cool… let’s go deeper.”
You can scream into space…
And nothing will answer.
Not because the universe is mean.
It’s just… busy.
Indifferent.
Like a cat that knocked your glass off the table and made eye contact while doing it.
And then—just to really seal the deal—your brain whispers:
“Everyone you love is temporary.”
Not metaphorically.
Not in a poetic Pinterest quote kind of way.
Literally.
And now you’re standing there reconsidering every life decision you’ve ever made, including that third cup of coffee that definitely started this spiral.
But WAIT.
There’s more.
Your consciousness?
Yeah… it’s just sitting inside your skull like it rented the place and forgot the lease terms.
You will never step outside yourself to see what reality actually looks like.
You are just… interpreting everything.
Guessing.
Vibing.
Making it up as you go.
And every night…
You willingly go unconscious.
Like you just lay down and say,
“Alright brain, shutting you off now. See you in 6–8 hours. Hopefully.”
And somehow… you trust it’ll come back.
That’s insane behavior if you really think about it.
And THEN—because your brain is clearly unwell—it goes:
“If time goes on forever… everything you’ve ever done will eventually mean nothing.”
And you’re like,
“Okay… so why did I stress about that email?”
There are parts of you no one has ever seen.
Thoughts you never said out loud.
Versions of you that only existed for a moment.
And when you go…
They go with you.
Gone.
Deleted.
No backup file.
And just when you think your brain is done—
It leans in real close and goes:
“You are closer to death right now than you’ve ever been…
and you have no idea how close.”
At this point you’re like,
“Okay cool, so we’re just doing horror stories now?”
Meanwhile, the universe is out there doing its thing—
Stars exploding.
Galaxies colliding.
Entire worlds ending.
And not a single one of them is checking to see if you finished your to-do list.
You are…
A temporary spark in infinite darkness.
And yet…
You’re worried about what someone said about you three days ago.
That’s the part that gets me.
Out of ALL of that…
Out of the cosmic chaos, the existential mystery, the fact that you’re basically a self-aware piece of stardust trying to remember why you walked into the kitchen…
You’re worried about that?
That text.
That look.
That moment.
It’s almost funny.
Actually… it is funny.
Because if you’re going to spiral…
You might as well go all the way.
But here’s the thing nobody tells you about these thoughts:
They don’t actually mean your life is meaningless.
They mean your life is yours.
Completely.
No one else gets your perspective.
No one else gets your exact experience.
No one else gets the weird, chaotic, beautiful mess that is your mind.
You are the only witness to your entire existence.
That’s not depressing.
That’s kind of… legendary.
So yeah…
Maybe nothing matters in the grand, cosmic, exploding-galaxy sense.
But right here?
This moment?
The way you laugh, the way you think, the way your name still echoes in someone’s head strong enough to shake them?
That matters more than you think.
Because for a brief moment in an infinite universe…
You were here.
Aware.
Thinking.
Questioning everything like a lunatic.
And honestly?
That’s impressive.
So the next time your brain decides to ruin your day with a full-blown existential TED Talk…
Just laugh.
Drink your coffee.
And remind yourself:
You might be a temporary spark in infinite darkness…
But wow…
What a ridiculously entertaining spark you are.
Leave a comment