If I could speak to the younger version of myself, I’d tell them to trust their instincts more and their hopeful heart a little less. Don’t show up to work that day. That job? You should’ve started it a week later. That DM? Leave it on read. That phone call? Let it ring. Some calls, though—you should’ve picked up every time. That car? You didn’t need it. That move? It was a mistake. But hindsight is what it is, and none of it matters now. It all happened. It was real.
You let one too many people waste your time and energy. Looking back, not a single one of them was worth it. You were addicted to potential, seeing the best in them when they couldn’t even see it for themselves. You pushed, encouraged, believed. And for what? To be dragged down a rabbit hole you never should have stepped into. Over and over again, starting at the ground floor, clawing your way back to the top. But the ride is getting easier now.
Ah, but all the lessons you learned.
Putting others before yourself is never the safe bet. Giving without return only empties your cup. Being someone’s shelter from the storm? That only invites a bigger storm. Offering your home to the homeless? That just ensures they’ll steal from you when they leave. Believing in people who don’t even believe in themselves? That’s just a road to your own disappointment.
When people show you who and what they are—when they wave those red flags in your face—know this: this isn’t a ride at Six Flags. It’s a cautionary tale.
There is nothing wrong with being selfish with your energy, your time, your understanding, and your emotions. In fact, it’s necessary. Because putting yourself first ensures that the ones who truly matter are taken care of. Sometimes, “the one” isn’t another person—it was always you.
It’s easy to make friends and lovers when everything is going right. But when life brings you to your knees, take a look around. The ones still standing with you? Those are your people. The ones who don’t just show up with a fork, but bring a dish to the table you built with your own bare hands.
And if I could tell my younger self one thing above all else: never leave the gym. That’s where you find out what you’re made of. That’s where you build yourself, decision by decision, into the person you were meant to be. That’s where you create new dreams.
Paint. Write. Work hard, but only to live harder. Travel from ocean to ocean. Make friends with the locals. Be the friend you’d want—but unfriend the ones who wouldn’t be that for you. The people you surround yourself with will either make or break your life. Choose wisely.
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