The Infinite Starr

emotional-intelligence

  • The Barbarian’s Life Coach

    I met a man named Dale in the frozen food aisle. Now before you get excited, Dale was not shopping for frozen vegetables. Dale was standing in front of six family-sized lasagnas, two pizzas, a gallon bucket of ice cream, and something called Bacon Explosion Bites. I didn’t know Bacon Explosion Bites existed. Part of…

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  • The Stranger Living Between My Ears

    Somewhere along the way, we started speaking to the voice in the head in the third person. Not because we lost our mind. Quite the opposite. It happened because one morning, while standing in front of the bathroom mirror brushing our teeth, the voice started talking again. You know the one. The running commentary. The…

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  • The Things We Carry

    I used to think I was a cactus. Turns out I wasn’t. I was just a stubborn plant trapped in bad circumstances. Back then I lived in a dented coffee can sitting on the floorboard of an old eighteen-wheeler. The man who carried me around wasn’t much different than I was. We were both things…

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  • The Strange Silence After the Storm

    It took a long time to get where I was going. Not the kind of long time people celebrate with a social media post and a handful of emojis. The kind of long time measured in endurance. Measured in getting up when every cell in your body voted against it. Measured in swallowing your pride…

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  • Peace Is Not the Absence of Teeth

    People think peace is soft. That is the first mistake. They imagine peace sitting on a hillside somewhere wearing flowing white robes. They imagine somebody who never gets angry. Never raises their voice. Never says no. Never stands their ground. Never bites back. That isn’t peace. That’s surrender. The older I get, the more I…

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  • The First Home

    There has always been something fascinating to me about the way the world talks about women. For thousands of years, people have argued about where women came from. Whose they belonged to. What their role should be. What they should wear. How they should behave. How much space they should take up. How loud they…

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  • The Price of Closed Doors

    Everything has a cost. We like to pretend it doesn’t. We count the obvious expenses. We know what a house costs. We know what a car costs. We know what a bad decision costs. We know what a divorce costs, what a lawsuit costs, what a medical bill costs. The hidden costs are the ones…

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  • The Bouncer at the Gates of Peace

    There comes a point in life where peace stops being soft. People think peace is candles, quiet music, healing quotes slapped on sunsets and pretending everything deserves grace. No. Real peace has scars on her knuckles and a guest list shorter than your patience. Real peace learned the hard way that if you let chaos…

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  • The Three Versions of Me

    There is a dangerous thing that happens when people mistake kindness for weakness.Not compassion. Not patience. Weakness. That is where people get themselves hurt. So let me say this out loud so everybody can hear it clearly in the back of the room where denial likes to sit with its legs crossed pretending it did…

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  • The Head of the Table

    I’m okay when some people hate me. Matter of fact, hate me if you must. Please. I highly encourage it if that’s the best use of your energy. I don’t spend a whole lot of time trying to change minds that already built a home inside their own bitterness. If someone wakes up in the…

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